95. November 2013: Steven, My Date Down Under

 I asked the bartender at  Mojo Record Bar  to surprise me with a cocktail.

I asked the bartender at Mojo Record Bar to surprise me with a cocktail.

How did you meet?  Tinder - Sydney, Australia

Name: Steven

Height: 5' 10"

Age: 41

Occupation:  Something cool with digital

Good quotes from date(s)

"Aussies don't like to complain." On Why Sydney's restaurant service culture is shit. 

"I don't dress up." On what he'll wear to his circus themed company Christmas party. 

Why is he still single? I don't know. He's divorced but I don't know how recently.

Did he pay for the date? yes

Did he contact you after the date? Yes, we're Facebook friends

How many dates did you go on? 1

Would you recommend to a friend? Yes, if you live in Oz

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Comments:

Fourteen hour work days were not conducive to setting up a date in Sydney, but during my last week I found an evening free to meet up with Steven. My first out-of-town date made me realize how great these out-of-town dates are. I had zero expectations and only hoped for good conversation. 

Steven did not disappoint. He greeted me with a big hug and was very cute in a manly way with a salt and pepper beard, blue eyes and a sexy gap between his front teeth.

He choose one of the coolest cocktail bars in Sydney (apparently there aren't many because the pub culture still dominates), in a basement in the city center with a record store in front. Felt like Brooklyn.

This was the kind of date where the conversation was free flowing, with no awkward pauses, and no weird meta-moments where we talked about online dating or Tinder.

We touched on a bunch of other subjects like American versus Australian customs and manners, snowboarding, traveling, politics and personal life goals. Two of his are to run the NYC marathon and to snowboard-hop across the US with his brother. 

We hugged goodbye and became Facebook friends. Maybe I'll wave to him next year when he runs by my house during the marathon.

94. October 2013: I'm Not Ready

We ate at this crazy fun Indian restaurant on our third date

I have a secret. I like a boy. 

We met on Tinder one week before I left for my 7-week trip. The night date 89 cancelled.

We had an amazing first date and three others during that week. Seeing anyone besides myself in the mirror four times in a week is rare.

I let him sleep over. Inviting anyone to sleep over after sex is even rarer.

He is like no one I've ever dated. I am not like myself with him. I am better. 

You want to know more. I want to tell you more but not now. For now I need to keep this to myself. 

I cannot wait to get back to NY. 

93. October 2013: Evan - When a Date is Not a Date

How did you meet? Tinder

Name: Evan

Height: (much) shorter than me

Age: In 30s (can't remember)

Occupation:  photographer

Good quotes from date(s)

I'm dating someone else who lives on your street.

I don't like to call these 'dates'.

Why is he still single? Divorced, enjoying being back in the dating pool

Did he pay for the date? yes

Did he contact you after the date? A quick text to tell me he's taking a Tinder break, and if I want to keep in touch to email him

How many dates did you go on? Were we even on date?

Would you recommend to a friend? Doubtful

Comments:

One of Tinder's many benefits is the quick and easy "right-now" date. Evan and I matched on a Monday during the day and met up that same night. My new date strategy had been to tell the guy about this blog (except for 91). This might be because I'm almost done with the project and I have desire for openness. Anyway, I told Evan. 

So it was my fault that our date got completely meta right away. He was super interested in 100fd. Too interested. As a result, much of the night's conversation centered around this blog, my dates, was he just a test subject, what would I write about him, yadda yadda. I got bored immediately and wished I were on a date where we didn't talk about dating.

But I soon learned that I wasn't on a date because Evan did not consider it one. Dates mean romance, he said, and since there was none of that on online dates he considered them "meet-ups". 

Well, jeez, with an attitude like that...

To be honest, the minute I saw Evan I knew I was not attracted to him, and so he was right that our particular date/meet-up was not romantic, but I challenge his overall assumption. 

Online dating platforms are only tools to facilitate people meeting face-to-face. When I put on make-up and a cute outfit and leave my very comfortable couch on a chilly Monday night to go on a date, it's because dates still have the potential for magic. And magic leads to romance, which leads to relationships and love. 

"Meet-ups" are for people who are afraid that a random night with a stranger brought about by a silly smartphone app could lead to something real. 

I much prefer dates.