94. October 2013: I'm Not Ready

We ate at this crazy fun Indian restaurant on our third date

I have a secret. I like a boy. 

We met on Tinder one week before I left for my 7-week trip. The night date 89 cancelled.

We had an amazing first date and three others during that week. Seeing anyone besides myself in the mirror four times in a week is rare.

I let him sleep over. Inviting anyone to sleep over after sex is even rarer.

He is like no one I've ever dated. I am not like myself with him. I am better. 

You want to know more. I want to tell you more but not now. For now I need to keep this to myself. 

I cannot wait to get back to NY. 

92. September 2013: Jonah Doesn't Live Here

How did you meet? Tinder

Name: Jonah

Height: shorter than me

Age: 29

Occupation:  software stuff

Good quotes from date(s): 

Him: I only chew half pieces of gum.
Me: Me too!

Him: I'm very curious about what you're going to write about me.*

Why is he still single? I don't know, he's great

Did he pay for the date? First time, no, second time, yes

Did he contact you after the date? Yes

How many dates did you go on? 2

Would you recommend to a friend? If she lives in Barcelona, yes

Comments:

Jonah and I chatted for a bit on Tinder and he cracked me up. What he neglected to tell me over text was that he doesn't live in NY anymore. He lives in Barcelona. Just because. When I heard that I knew I'd get along with him. After visiting Spain, he loved it and decided to move there. He's doing what I only talk about. 

In person Jonah was full of energy and had a warm, kind smile. He is also extremely open and friendly. After about 20 min of chatting I felt like we'd been friends for a long time. I told him about this blog and that he was number 92. He told me about his deeply religious roots and how he broke away. 

Jonah was only in NY for a week to visit family so we had drinks on Tuesday and coffee on Friday. After coffee we walked around the city, made each other laugh, and said goodbye with a hug. We still keep in touch via Facebook and texting, and I now have someone to visit in Barcelona. Olé!

*That wasn't so bad, was it?

91. September 2013: Franco, Tall, Dark and Another Brazilian

How did you meet? Tinder

Name: Franco

Height: 6'2"

Age: 32

Occupation:  business guy

Good quotes from date(s): 

I'm obviously attracted to you. Of course I want to see you again. 

I'm very into meditation. 

Do you like crying?

Why is he still single? New job, new city, slightly creepy?

Did he pay for the date? First date, yes

Did he contact you after the date? Yes, daily

How many dates did you go on? 3

Would you recommend to a friend? probably not

Comments:

Franco touched my hands and body almost immediately. We made out at the bar on our first date, three days after my other Brazilian date. I thanked the Tinder gods for their gifts.

Later that night he texted me to make sure I got home safely. And so began a daily texting routine that included things like, "Morning sunshine! How's your day?" Me being more experienced in the Latin (see Fernando) daily-texting-strategy I knew this would not last, but soaked up the attention while I could. 

Franco was smart, interesting, and very direct in ways that I liked, while too intense in ways that I did not. He talked a lot about himself, his self-exploration, the kind of meditation he practices, and blah, blah, a tent, a desert, a teacher/shaman, blah. Though he didn't say "cult" that is what I heard. He also enjoyed creating awkward moments by staring into my eyes without saying anything. 

Because our first two dates were blinded by dark bars and alcohol I suggested we go to the Brooklyn Museum for our third. I needed daylight, sobriety, and some art to test our chemistry. 

At the museum, Franco's staring felt creepier as did his desire for public kissing (in a park surrounded by kids). During this date I understood that I was never going to get the witty lighthearted banter that I need from a man. 

Our daily texts turned weekly and then non-existent. A mutual "fade-out" is rare in the world of online dating, but I felt happy that we were both on the same page. We went back to being strangers in the world.