I am now a 4 Man Planner

Well, sort of. 

I read the book and it was hilarious. I especially enjoyed looking at the stick figure men with giant hand-drawn penises. I know my fellow subway riders did too. 

From any "self-help" book (and i've read many, especially after my last traumatic break-up), I take only what I need and I throw the rest away.

Here is what I got out of this hilarious, and often gut-wrenchingly truthful book:
  • Accept that you suck at love, that's why you're still single. (This is hard. I'm the first born and therefore should excel at all things)
  • Be open to all kinds of men. (I talk the talk on this one, but I haven't been open to all kinds)  
  • Always, always accept a second date. Even if you weren't feelin' it, or he was boring or unattractive. (That is also hard)
  • You can and should date several men at once, but must be transparent about this. The good ones will want to compete for your affection, because men are animals and that's what they do. (I never thought about it this way)
  • Hold out on giving away the key to your Hoo-ha. They have to earn it. (Agreed. And no change there: my Hoo-ha is very dusty these days).
  • Goal: Find a 3 1/2 man (boyfriend, husband, partner), who is honest, loving and willing.
  • Note: your partner is never the full 4/4 man, because no one man can fulfill all our needs. That is an important concept to grasp, especially when we are bitching to our girlfriends about how he never squeezes the sponge out after washing the dishes.

Dating by these tenets over the past 2 weeks have been eerily effective.
  •  Fine! I admit it. I do suck at love.
  • I've been very open to all types of men and have said yes to every invitation for a second date.
  • None are at the third date mark, where I'm supposed to 'fess up about dating the others. This still seems very scary.
  • My Hoo-ha remains Mayor of "Born-Again Virgin Town". Population: 1 person. 1 vibrator.
Dare I say the "Plan" is working? I'm being pursued, being asked out on 2nd dates, and all the men I've been seeing are completely different. In fact...

I need to create a cheat sheet to keep track of who I'm dating, not just for my readers (Melissa), but for me too. Stay tuned.

A man is a man when he can plan

Ok, so last night I might have had 3 glasses and wine and few cocktails. Ok, by "might" i mean i did. My friend's boyfriend went the way of the douche-bag so I needed to take her out. And for some reason we decided it would be fun to pretend we are 25 again - and it was.

We went to a bar in the east village that only 25 yr-olds could appreciate. Almost immideiately i fell in love with the cute, sarcastic, fully sleeved tattood doorman/boy (who likely is 25). Then he told me is a grad student in philosphy and i nearly proposed.

This kind of dude is so my type and yet, on a deeper level, i know that this should so not be my type.

I chatted and flirted and he asked for my number. He texted me a few hours later saying it was a pleasure to meet me and asked me out. His follow up time was in less than 24 hours! I began planning our wedding and how i would explain the tattoos to my grandparents.

I responded in the morning and our conversation went something like this:

doorman/boy: "Would you like to get a drink this weekend?"

Me: "I can't do this weekend, but how about next week?"

doorman/boy: "Sure, what day works for you?"

Me: "Work is crazy busy now, but i can definitely do friday." (one whole week away)

doorman/boy: "No worries, school is pretty busy for me as well."

Me: "So shall we say friday?"

silence. nothing. nada. zip. zilch. 

Looks like his backpedal time is equally impeccable: 26 hours.