69. March 2012: The Date That Wasn't

Boy and Girl instant message on OkCupid on a rainy Sunday afternoon. After making each other laugh online they agree to try it in person. Girl gives boy her number. Boy texts two days later and they plan to meet on the following Saturday in Girl's neighborhood at 6pm. Boy tells Girl to choose venue.

Girl thinks about where they could meet. If it's warm they could be drinking cocktails on a rooftop, if it's cold they could be drinking beer by a fireplace. Girl texts Boy on Friday giving him two venue choices. By Saturday afternoon Girl has not yet back from Boy about venue. She texts Boy to confirm the date at 4pm. Boy does not respond until 6:05pm, five minutes past the time they planned to meet. Boys tells Girl he made other plans because he never heard back from Girl.

Girl is so angry she wants to throw her phone at a wall, but she likes her phone so she does not. "Are you serious?" Girl texts. "I texted you on Friday about places to meet. Thanks for wasting my time."

Boy answers immediately and claims he never received her text whereby he assumed that Girl was "Blowing him off." Girl wonders if many other online dates have blown Boy off and she decides it's very likely. Girl explains that when she agrees on a time and a place for a date that means the date is confirmed.

This pathetic interaction only confirms Girl's theory that every boy on OkCupid is an unaccountable flake who doesn't have the balls to confirm a date via text or (god forbid) a phone call. Instead he puts his tail between his legs and assumes he is being blown off. Girl does not wonder why these boys are single.

Girl reminds herself of two things she already knows but sometimes forgets:

1) Girl needs a man not a boy.
2) Girl needs to get the hell off OkCupid.

Girl makes other plans that Saturday night and has a rockin' good time. Hey Boy, fuck you.

Why I Online Date

For Amusement - Obviously. 

Found this in my inbox:

Hi. I found you by keywording Scrabble. Funny how many women who play Scrabble love improv. I have improv'd professionally for many years. I promise you a good time on our second date. Is that too weird. I will work on a good time on the first date too but there always seems to be so much exposition. Hopefully our profiles will create a late point of attack on the first date. I know I will be happy just to play Scrabble. I also want to go to the Cymbiline now playing at Barrow. I can get us 27$ tickets. A walk would do as well. 

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Can someone else comment on this for me? I'm tired.

Nugget o'the day: Prince Genji

Another OkCupid message I received recently. Please file this under "Why I'm Still Single."

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I watch TV when I eat and last night there was a show about the Tale of Genji. It told of how Prince Genji had great success with women. Now this was 1000 AD Japan and to find a new love you had to be in the dark.

The man and woman were set apart. Separated by a screen. The man had only his words alone to seduce his mistress. Based only on what he said, she would decide whether to slide back the screen and grant Prince Genji entrance to her room.

What fascinated me is that things really haven't changed much today. At least online. Over 1000 years have passed and we're still separated by a "screen", courting each other with words true to our Genji roots.

I must say, I want to arouse the birds and the beasts booming in you. Leave your reluctance and your inner door unlocked. Do you believe that's possible?

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I agree that the birds and beasts within me do need to be aroused but I don't think Prince G is the right man for the job.