How did you meet? online...I was offline for awhile but impending Valentine's Day motivated me to get back online
Name: Michel (European)
Good quotes from date:
Me: "Thanks so much for the flowers!"
Him: "I don't usually bring flowers on a first date, but since it's Valentine's Day I figured why not?"
Me: "It was very sweet."
Him (later in the date): "Like I said, I don't usually bring flowers on a first date, but since it's Valentine's Day...I thought a lot about it and it's not something I normally do."
Me: "Yeah, I got that the first few times you said it."
Why is he still single?
He's been here less than a year (see comments for details)
Did he pay for the date? Yes
Did he contact you after the date? Yes
How many dates did you go on? 3
Would you recommend to a friend? Read the comments and then you decide
On our first date Michel arrived with flowers in hand, which I found insanely cute. Not because it was a romantic gesture (because we don't know each other), but because it was a thoughtful gesture. Sure, they're silly red roses but he acknowledged the day and I like surprises.
After we made it past the banal small talk about the weather I realized that Michel is very funny and sarcastic - just like me. This seems to be where I get myself into trouble. We played off each other's jokes the rest of the night and this made it hard to get to know each other on a deeper level.
I didn't get any vibes from him that he was interested in more than friends, but I was fine with it because I was having a good time, and hey, it was Valentine's Day and my date was cute and fun. That's all I ask for these days.
One thing we've all learned is that I'm bad at interpreting vibes because Michel was texting me all week. We met up for a quick drink on a Sunday night. He confessed that he was divorced with a child and this is why he left London for New York. To start over. To be happy. I felt like I was getting to know him.
I got to know Michel even better this time. After two hours of watching funny, light-hearted improv shows he offered to walk me to the subway even though it was out of his way. He inquired as to which trains I take to go home, where I was walking etc. I told him. He began yelling (I'm not exaggerating) on the streets of midtown. While throngs of Knicks fans swarmed us after leaving a game, Michel berated me on my choice of subways.
"Why was I taking the long way? That's crazy! You can just go this way...on this train..." He was pointing and flailing his arms in the direction I should take. For someone who's lived in New York for less than a year he seemed very serious about telling me - who's lived here for a decade - the best way to go home to my apartment. He may have been joking, I couldn't tell and I felt like I was being lectured by my father. He went on and on as we walked...finally I said:
"I don't like to travel west when I'm ultimately going east; this subway stop is more crowded at 11pm at night (read: safe); I've been taking this way home for 4 years since I've worked in midtown; I'm an adult this is the way I choose to go! You don't have to walk me. Why are you arguing with me?"
I guess he didn't think he was arguing. His turned into a self-pitying martyr. "I can't do anything right! I don't know what to say to you! I'm just trying to do something nice and you're offended. I should stop walking you. I should go home."
Me: "Yes, I agree. We need to say goodbye here (a few blocks away from my destination) because you've made this really weird and awkward." Followed by a more awkward hug (not initiated by me). He was still talking about how it's my fault, but I'm not listening...as I ran across the street away from him.
I don't know if he's on meds and forgot to take them, or if he's a control freak, or if our exchange reminded him of his ex-wife, but I've NEVER had a date yell at me on the street for any reason. I'm under the impression that people should be on their best behavior during initial dates.
When I arrived home I had two text messages from him. The first: "You deserve that!" (wha huh?). The second: "Look, whatever happened tonight was weird but it tells something about us. We are different in the way we communicate. Enjoy your holiday." Us? There is no us and there will never be. Needless to say I did not respond.
That exchange tells me that you are angry, not ready to date, and quite possibly insane. And you are wrong - I don't deserve to date someone like that. (I did enjoy my holiday though).