91. September 2013: Franco, Tall, Dark and Another Brazilian

How did you meet? Tinder

Name: Franco

Height: 6'2"

Age: 32

Occupation:  business guy

Good quotes from date(s)

I'm obviously attracted to you. Of course I want to see you again. 

I'm very into meditation. 

Do you like crying?

Why is he still single? New job, new city, slightly creepy?

Did he pay for the date? First date, yes

Did he contact you after the date? Yes, daily

How many dates did you go on? 3

Would you recommend to a friend? probably not

Comments:

Franco touched my hands and body almost immediately. We made out at the bar on our first date, three days after my other Brazilian date. I thanked the Tinder gods for their gifts.

Later that night he texted me to make sure I got home safely. And so began a daily texting routine that included things like, "Morning sunshine! How's your day?" Me being more experienced in the Latin (see Fernando) daily-texting-strategy I knew this would not last, but soaked up the attention while I could. 

Franco was smart, interesting, and very direct in ways that I liked, while too intense in ways that I did not. He talked a lot about himself, his self-exploration, the kind of meditation he practices, and blah, blah, a tent, a desert, a teacher/shaman, blah. Though he didn't say "cult" that is what I heard. He also enjoyed creating awkward moments by staring into my eyes without saying anything. 

Because our first two dates were blinded by dark bars and alcohol I suggested we go to the Brooklyn Museum for our third. I needed daylight, sobriety, and some art to test our chemistry. 

At the museum, Franco's staring felt creepier as did his desire for public kissing (in a park surrounded by kids). During this date I understood that I was never going to get the witty lighthearted banter that I need from a man. 

Our daily texts turned weekly and then non-existent. A mutual "fade-out" is rare in the world of online dating, but I felt happy that we were both on the same page. We went back to being strangers in the world. 
















90. September 2013: Jorge, This is How They Do it in Brazil

How did you meet? Tinder!

Name: Jorge

Height: 5'10"

Age: 33

Occupation:  tattoo artist & painter (jesus)

Good quotes from date(s)

Him: I hate dealing with people at my job. Unless they're hot girls. (laughter ensues). Just kidding.
Me: No you're not. 

Him: Let me touch your body.
Me: Ok.

Why is he still single? He's a hot Brazilian artist. Why settle down? I wouldn't. 

Did he pay for the date?  Nope. Split-skies

Did he contact you after the date? Nope. This was a one-time deal.

How many dates did you go on? 1

Would you recommend to a friend? If she wants to make out with a hot Brazilian artist, yes.

Comments:

I almost canceled this date for a few reasons: 1) I was tired 2) It was Monday 3) His texts contained no more than three word "sentences". But I can't both experience new things and sit on my couch at the same time (sadly).

Jorge is the second guy that after the first drink enlightened me about my first-date behaviors. I shy away from eye contact and glance at the top of people's heads. I seem quiet and conservative and seem distracted (read: I'm bored).  But then, he said, into the second drink I loosen up and am more fun. Thanks Jorge! I didn't ask for your thoughts but....

If this dating project has taught me anything it's these two things:

1. I suck at intimacy - initially (i.e. eye contact)
2. I suck at being my true self around people who I don't vibe with. 

Actually, three things.

3. I do not suck at allowing a hot Brazilian dude with gorgeous brown eyes, long lashes, and arms with tattoo sleeves touch my body in public. 

Understanding Brazilian culture was easy - just be open to tongue kissing and touching in public. Jorge made kissing a part of normal conversation and the touching of my arms and legs just part of the story he told. It was all so natural and Latin. 

I ate it up. I didn't care that he didn't pay for my drink, because in a way he kind of did. With his dark artist angst, and his hands and his full lips. He walked me to my bike and as they do in Brazil, we french kissed goodbye. 

He would have come home with me. And if I were younger and not looking for something real I would have asked.

What is my life? Sometimes I ask myself. With respect to dating, with respect to pretty much everything. 

This story is one answer: sometimes I'm kissing a Brazilian on a Monday night.








89. September 2013: Sean Hopes I Like Chest Hair

How did you meet? Tinder

Name: Sean

Height: 5'8"

Age: 29

Occupation:  lawyer & funny man

Good quotes from date(s)

Him: I just got out of a six year relationship. It was polyamorous. 
Me: I have a million questions.

Him: I'll walk you to the subway so I can make out with you. 
Me: Okay.

Me: I have a confession to make. I have a blog. About dating. 

Why is he still single? He's just back in the dating world. 

Did he pay for the date?  Yes. He was a gentleman.

Did he contact you after the date?   Yes. Texting of course. "Voice communication? What are we married?"

How many dates did you go on? 1 (2nd is scheduled)

Would you recommend to a friend? Nope. Me, me, me, me!

Comments:

Why was this such a good date? Did it help that Tinder told me we had a comic friend in common that led me to discovering his last name that led to a fruitful Google search? Sure. 

Did it help that before we met he sent me a picture of him shirtless in gold pants with a painted face and said "Hope you like hairy men."? Sure did. 

Though not because I love hairy men because it was a test. How would I respond? It was a test of sense of humor and I've got that. I passed with flying colors and said "I hope you show up wearing this same outfit." 

There was a good chance he was a crazy person but being a comic I knew that was a possibility. I laughed out loud at that photo and that's my test. 

Sean did not wear gold pants or face paint and managed to put on a shirt for our date. He walked into the bar, smiled and disarmed me. I felt myself being myself immediately. We shared the kind of first-date laughing that you only see in sappy rom-coms that you make fun of out loud, but secretly wish happened to you more often. I was funny right back. 

It was a night of tests. I was fresh back from France and wearing a dress. I wanted him to notice my tanned legs. He did. He told me about his recent long-term relationship, the polyamory, the ex, the partying that led to the break up. He answered all of my questions.

I was swimming in a warm pool of rosé and Sean's openness. I confessed that I write about dating. I've never told anyone that on the first date. He reacted positively. Another test. But for him or me?

For me - to try something new, to be more open, to see if that could lead to a whole new experience. We made out before I hopped on a train. He tasted good.