What Happened When I saw Date 82 Today

I stepped onto the L train for the usual morning torture. I leaned against the door and started reading the news on my phone. 

I felt someone staring at me. I looked up and across from me sat none other than my "worst date of 2013" - date 82. I quickly looked away hoping he didn't see me notice him noticing me. It. Was. AWKWARD. 

I pretended to read the news, while remembering the horrible time we had together a few months back. The worst part of it is, he's still cute. Beautiful blue eyes. The best part is, I looked good. 

Unfortunately for him I stood right in the front of the door he needed to exit through. Before his stop he got up and stood 2 inches away from my face for the door to open. What could I do? I looked up and smiled. He smiled back. Then I went to work. The end. 

57. November 2011: Evan, A Meta-Date

view from the williamsburg bridge

If a girl blogger who's going on 100 dates and a boy blogger who's also going on 100 dates go out on a date together is it really a date? It's more like a Meta-Date. A crazy and weird, fun date wrapped in bacon.
 
I found Evan, the man behind 100 Dates, while Googling "100 Dates Blog". To my surprise, he's basically the male equivalent of me living in this very city. Well, sort of - he's dating for different reasons and his dating model is different. You can read all about it all here.
 
We emailed and decided to go on a date and blow both of our minds. Then blog about it.

****************************
How did you meet? Google brought us together

Name: Evan (his real name!)

Height: 5'11"

Age: 26

Occupation: financial/computer/blogger/funny guy

Good quotes from date:


Him: "You like to stir things up." (As I grabbed his arm and asked him to shuffle through the crunchy leaves along the park)

Me: "I get bored a lot, especially at work."

Him: "I never get bored."

Me: "You're fascinating. I'd like to study you."

Why is he still single?
Because he wants to be, and he needs to stay that way to finish his 100 dates project in one year

Did he pay for the date? He bought me a lemonade on our walk and we split dinner (He offered to pay for dinner, I said no.)

Did he contact you after the date? Yes we texted that we both had fun and that we'd see each around...

How many dates did you go on? 1

Would you recommend to a friend? Yes, if she wants a fun date but not a boyfriend now

Comments:

Evan and I have a lot in common and yet are different in many ways. He likes long first dates and I like short ones (ours was 4.5 hours, my longest ever). I'm more traditional when it comes to gender roles in dating, he's less so. He is a serial girlfriend guy; I'm a serial single girl. But none of that matters.

He sent me a list of a few of his100 dates that he needs to complete. I chose the "walking date" because I love those. We walked over the Williamsburg bridge, talked, and walked some more. We drank lemonades. We ate arepas and drank wine for dinner. 
 
I learned that Evan is intense, smart and funny and always sees the good in people. I learned that I might not be as open as I think I am about dating. I learned that Evan is dating to stay single, to meet new people, to try new things, to NOT fall in love. This reminded me that I would like to fall in love again.

I also learned that Evan doesn't have bad dates, he has great ones and OK ones, and I admire him for that. I learned that we really WILL see each other around town, because...wait for it...yes we know many of the same people from improv. We study at the same theater and it's a close knit community. (Insert small world joke here)

How do you end a date between two dating bloggers? Talk about how we end our other dates, of course. I quizzed him on how he ends dates. I told him how I always become awkward, chatty, and shift side to side wondering if I should run away or wait for physical contact - no doubt he could see this.

As we chatted about how we end dates with other people while trying to end ours, he put his hands in my coat pockets where my hands were, pulled me in and sweetly, quickly kissed me - to shut me up no doubt. It worked.

**You can learn more about Evan the man and his 100 Dates project in an interview coming soon to this blog.

54. October 2011: Seth, The White Rapper

How did you meet? Hipster speed dating (like regular speed dating but at a shitty bar)  

Name: Seth 

Height: 6'0" 


Age: 28 


Occupation: markets some luxury product

 

Good quotes from date: I arrived at the bar a few minutes before him. He came up behind me and greeted me with a "Yo."* Nothing says romance like a two word greeting that only rappers and 12 year-olds use in a non-ironic way. 

Sometime during the date: "I usually don't date white people" ** (File under WTF)

The end of the date: "I'm gonna bounce." *** 

*He is a WHITE person - a half jewish guy from the midwest!
**I'm a WHITE person.
**Nope, he's still WHITE. And still not a rapper. 

Why is he still single?  See EVERYTHING I've written. 


Did he pay for the date? When the check came I found him so offensive that I actually wanted to pay for my own drink so I wouldn't have blood on my hands. I threw down a 20 immediately and told him I'd get change to give him. He told me he'd pay. I asked why (me being a WHITE person and all...) and he said, it's because you work in non-profit. Hahaha, he giggled. What a peach.


Did he contact you after the date? Oh god no. 

How many dates did you go on? 1 

Would you recommend to a friend? only to my non-white friends...JK. NO 

Comments:

 

Ladies and gents I'm going to confess that I was really excited (and even a bit nervous) for this date, which is a rare feeling these days. I had high hopes mostly because we'd already met and I knew he was cute and funny and an excellent dresser. 

And since we'd already met he knew I was a WHITE person. The sad part about that comment is that just before, he was telling me why he went to speed dating...because he feels really ready for a serious relationship. He's been single for over two years and is tired of casually dating.

I don't see how I could NOT be offended by that comment. It's like going on a date with a brunette and saying, "Well I'm really into blondes, they're hot." Except you can actually change your hair color but I'll continue to be white no matter what. 

 

I'll confess that after that I didn't find his weird, immature, hip-hop speak cute or charming anymore. I became a snarky passive-aggressive bitch and just wanted to go the fuck home.  I don't like people that waste my time and think it's funny. 

He for some reason walked me north a couple of streets with his bike and then hugged me awkwardly with the bike between us (symbolic no?). He then said, "We'll hang out again." Like a statement. Like I was waiting for him to say that. Like he thought I was into him and wanted to see him again. 


As I trudged home in my sexy heeled boots (I wore heels for this guy!) thoroughly disappointed I remembered that I once dated a guy exactly like Seth when I was 26. His name was Wayne and he too was cute, smirky, semi-charming, a good dresser, and he also said immature, offensive shit that at the time I thought was hilarious. He was too cool for school and when my friends met him they thought he was a huge asshole. 

 

 

They were right of course, but I made some excuses like "when we're alone he's a different person." Blah, blah. We dated for 3 months before I had a come-to-jesus-moment and agreed with my friends. 

 

 

 

I'm happy to say that 6 years later, thankfully, I can smell this type of dude right away and I have learned to run as fast as possible (in heeled boots).