The Single Scientist Asks and I Answer

Back in january i met the single scientist,


, who wrote a hilarious book, "The Science of Single", about her dating experiment, which pretty much mirrors my dating life. 

We've kept in touch since then - all of us daters have to stick together - and she recently interviewed me for her blog,

(re-posted below).  Also, stay tuned for her guest post on 100 First Dates coming soon.

Thanks, Rachel! 


Guest Post: Q&A w/ One Hundred First Dates




March 20, 2011

when harry met sally

Our guest's favorite love story.

I met the fantastic woman behind

at my NY signing and happily she agreed to lend some dating words to my blog. Even happily-er, she’s like my dating twin. We are simpatico on everything dating including the fact that Jack didn’t have to freeze to death in


! (And he didn’t have to die.)

A little about our guest (who will remain anonymous because she vowed to go on 100 dates and has 63 to go. And everyone who has ever blogged about their dating life knows it has to be done anonymously):

I began my

one hundred first dates project

last year after my long-term relationship, the one I thought was going to end in marriage, instead just ended. So I got back in the game and I started a blog to capture the good, the bad, and the funny. It’s been a year. I’ve had 37 dates with 37 different men…and counting.

The Questions:

Science of Single: What’s your favorite color?

One Hundred First Dates: Violet

SOS: What do you wear on a first date?

OHFD: I usually have one go-to outfit per season so I don’t have to think too much. Right now it’s a gray silk top, skinny jeans, and boots, and one of my many scarves.

SOS: What’s your favorite love story and why?

OHFD: I’ve always loved the old fashioned, classic, love stories like Romeo and Juliet, Jane Eyre, and dare I admit it….Titantic

(I still wonder why they both couldn’t fit on that piece of wood and lived)

. I’m a sucker for that intense, passionate, love-at-first-sight romance.

But since I live in the real world, my favorite love story of all time is “When Harry Met Sally” because it’s realistic, it takes place in New York, and their witty banter is something I definitely want in a long-term relationship.

SOS: What’s the best part about dating in NY? The worst?

OHFD: The Best: There so many amazing restaurants and bars in the city, dating is a great excuse to try a few new places a week. Also, there are an insane amount of good-looking men here.

The Worst:  Men and women in their 20’s are on the same page here pursuing a career and partying. In our 30′s, we women start to think about kids and marriage, while the men freak out and go back to dating women in their 20′s. Also, there are an insane amount of good-looking women here.

SOS: Do you have any deal breakers? What are they?

OHFD: I do have a few…it’s a deal breaker if he:

  • Has a girlfriend or wife
  • Smokes cigarettes or does hard drugs
  • Doesn’t want kids
  • Is unkind
  • Is not funny (to me): let’s be honest, looks fade but the funny lasts a lifetime
  • Not liberal/open-minded: i’m a human rights advocate so I can’t date anyone from the Tea Party
  • Not a traveler: seeing the world is a very important part of my life and I want to share that with a partner

SOS: What’s the one thing women can do better when it comes to dating?

OHFD: I feel that women could be more open-minded and less superficial when dating. We tend to judge men instantly after a first date: “He’s too nice, too boring, doesn’t have a good enough job, wears ugly jeans, and those shoes!” All of those rom coms and romance novels may have distorted our image of reality.

Don’t get me wrong; absolutely trust your instincts, but, if the guy seems like a good person, and you weren’t repulsed by his looks, I think a second date is a good idea. Then after that if you’d still rather be snuggling with your cat in your pjs at least you gave it a go.

SOS: And men?

OHFD: Men could act more like men – gentlemen that is – and less like boys. They could brush up on their dating manners, you know, open a door, ask us questions, even buy us a drink. They could do simple things that really show genuine respect for another human. I think it says a lot about a man’s character if he has manners.

SOS: Who pays at the end of the date and does it even matter?

OHFD: In my 20′s I might have answered this differently, but yes it does matter, and I believe the man should pay on a first date. Most of my first dates are just one drink. If a man either can’t afford or doesn’t want to pay for my $8 drink, especially after he’s asked me out and chosen the bar, then he isn’t ready for a real relationship. However I do always offer to pay, and say thank you. If we make it to a second date I make sure to pay for part of it.

Many, many thanks to Rachel for allowing me to be apart of The Science of Single. We’re all in this together.

Thanks my dear! I love sharing this dating space with you.