41. May 2011: Wham! Bam! Thank you Grilled Cheese!

How did you meet? online

Name: Pete

Height:  5'10"

Age: 30

Occupation: fashion PR/marketing

Good quotes from date:  

Him: "Did you date any Chinese dudes?"

Me: "No."

Him: "Whoa, I can't imagine living in China for a year and not getting laid. Gnarly." 

For the record, my year abroad did not go 'un-laid' -- i got back together with my ex-boyfriend who lived there with me....but seriously? Why is he asking me about the frequency of my getting laid by other people in a foreign country?

Why is he still single? see comments below.

Did he pay for the date? i bought my first drink because i got to the bar first. He bought my second. i did not order food.

Did he contact you after the date? That won't be necessary.

How many dates did you go on? 1

Would you recommend to a friend?  No, unless you want a quickie, messy sex romp that most likely will not end with you finishing*, and/or you want to watch a man maul the shit out of a grilled cheese and tomato soup dinner.

I must confess that main reason i accepted this date was that this guy's photos were hot. So what if he overused exclamation points and the word 'love' in his profile? So what if we emailed exactly two full sentences before he asked to meet up?

In real life he was hot too. He has that bad-ass look to him and you all know how i love me some tattoos.

But then we chatted and he got significantly less hot. Then he crossed his arms after about 3 minutes of meeting me and i knew he didn't think i was hot. Body language is the teller of truths! I swear by it. Which is totally cool - guys like what they like, and so do i.

So here are a few things i don't like: 

1. Eating your grilled cheese dinner as if you are Tom Hanks in "Castaway" and it's your first real meal in seven years after being rescued.

2. Allowing the cheese string from said grilled cheese to linger on your formerly hot beard. (i had to look away.)

3. Digging your spoon in the tomato soup with a vengeance and grunting with pleasure.

4. Not offering me one damn fry. Not even one! 

*I once read this article in some terrible chick magazine about how men's eating habits project how they are in bed. This is what i thought about as Pete killed his defenseless dinner. Sadly, I tried to find it for ya'll but i can't.