Dead in the Water?

Faithful reader, Melissa, asks this poignant question about Gabe the 24-yr-old-who-recently-turned-25:

Where is Gabe? 

My answer 3 hours ago: 

Gabe is supposed to be back in the city by now according to what he told me a month ago (and the right amount of Facebook stalking). But I haven't heard from him, so yes, I believe things are dead in the water. But they were fun - and boy was he a damn good kisser. 

My answer based on text message received 2 minutes ago:

"Dear _____, I am finally back in New York. I hope all is well."

He's baaaaaaaaaaack.

My question to Melissa: 

Are you psychic? If yes, please tell me when I'm going to get married, to whom, and what the winning numbers to this Friday's Mega-millions jackpot are. Please send answers to:

With love,