Q: Do you have any tips on clingy guys or guys who come on too strong? What are some red flags in the beginning that I should run?
A: Melissa asked this great question in the comments of a recent post and I decided that it warranted its very own post. Perfect timing because I've been thinking a lot about the come-on-too-strong/clingy guy in the past few weeks since dating Brian #2.
I understand how this over-eager, puppy dog behavior can turn a girl off. You might wonder like me: What's wrong with this guy? Is he desperate and lonely? Am I merely a challenge he needs to conquer?
The problem is that we'll never be able to answer these questions, so it's best to ask yourself a more important one:
"Am I really into this guy?"
If you answer: YES!
Then all is wonderful in the world. He isn't clingy, he's cute, and he likes you. It's exactly what you've always wanted - a man you're attracted to pursuing you just like a man should. You are in complete control. You can see him three, four times a week or whatever you are comfortable with.
You are happy because you don't have to guess how he feels. You are happy because you and your girlfriends don't have to sit around and analyze every text and email saying dumb things like, "maybe...see you soon REALLY means I love you but I'm afraid...".
ENJOY this time.
If you answer: NO :(
Then sadly, this poor guy IS clingy and coming on too strong. You should probably run away.
I believe that red flags/freak flags/signs of desperation are different for everyone.Your tolerance threshold really depends on how much you like the guy. If you feel the "THE ICK" every time you hear from him or see him, go with your gut and get out.
Not totally sure about him? Maybe you see some red flags at half mast? Revisit your tried and true "Man-List" -- your checklist of qualities a man MUST have to date him (the shorter the better.) After all, no one is perfect. We all have freak flags. Yes, even you.
Got questions? Unlike Radio Shack, I don't have answers. But I try really, really hard.
Ask a question in the comments or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to hear from you.