Inquiring Minds Want to Know

If Gabe and I are dating exclusively. Guess what? I'd like to know too. 

Some minds also want to know what I've been up to this last month since I got sick of online dating and hid my profiles (*note: I did this before knowing Gabe was back in town). 

Well, folks, I've been enjoying myself on many fronts: Seeing friends I haven't seen for ages, saying goodbye to other friends who moved to Europe (take me with you!), and yes I've been seeing Gabe. Oh, and drinking copious amounts of liquor.

Gabe and I aren't really DATING so much as HANGING OUT. Now I know I'm old and he's young and the dating world has changed since I was 25, but I'm not sure what we're doing is dating. I say this because we spend more time "in" than "out".

Well, whatever. Here's what we have been doing in no particular order. You be the judge. Is this dating? Hanging out? Or something in between?  

  • Cuddled on my couch watching a movie
  • Sat on my couch eating a dinner I cooked and drank wine
  • Sat on a blanket in the park eating sandwiches
  • Met a million of my lady friends in that same park (one of whom called him "Gabe" to his face - not his real life name! - while I nearly peed in my pants. I mean it was funny but awkward fo' sho'.)
  • Went to a birthday party at a bar with the above million ladies.
  • Million ladies gave him the stamp of approval.
  • Kissed and more.
  • Napped in my bed and didn't do more.
  • Text daily or every other day nonsensical shit.

No, I am not dating anyone else and therefore, by default, it would seem that I am dating Gabe exclusively. But this is only circumstantial. I'm not online and let's face it I rarely meet anyone offline that I really like. Except this guy who is moving to SF and - thank you Facebook for being so informative - has a girlfriend! Funny he didn't mention her once during our 2 hour talk/drink fest.

I have no desire to have a conversation with Gabe about "us" or what "this" is. Right now it's nice. And yet, I do see myself getting back online in the fall. Why? Because Gabe is wonderful in many ways but not all the ways that I need. This most likely is a combination of his age and his insane work schedule (4:30am call time yesterday!). 


I need someone more stable who asks me OUT on dates, who can afford the time to go out on these dates. I need someone who is going to challenge me and show me things that I haven't seen before (literally and figuratively). I seem to be that person for him right now. I guess I need/want things to move quicker.

I had to have a mini-talk with him last weekend about how I'm always the one asking to hang out and forcing him to pin down a day. I'm not a crazy planner, but I do have a large social circle and everyone in that circle plans days/weeks ahead. It's the curse of being old I guess. Also, if I'm the one doing the asking all the time how do I really know if he's into me? He assured me he is, but I need him to show it!

Wow - as I'm writing this I can feel and you can probably read how many different emotions I have about this person. I like him. I feel insecure. I feel unfulfilled sometimes. I feel so comfortable other times that I have to remind myself that we aren't boyfriend/girlfriend. I feel scared that he's too young, and I can't afford to fall hard again. I need to fall for someone who will catch me (and maybe want to have a baby in the next 3-4 years. Holy hell, did I just write that? I did.) I also feel that I need to stop over-analyzing this.

So no, we're not dating exclusively. He'd have to step up his game and he may not be fully capable of that. In the meantime I really enjoy our time together. Come fall...well, that's another story.