Weird Stuff People Google to get to 100FD

Sometimes I wonder how people find my blog. Many readers are friends - I love you all. Some are referred by other bloggers - thank you, I love you all too. 

While still others get to 100 First Dates by Googling. Here are some of the things that people search and my responses if we were to meet in person below. 


"i can't believe you thought i was gay" quote: 
 I'd really like to hear the story that inspired you to search this.

a date with brian: 
Are you also dating many Brians or are you Brian himself? Either way I have no comment.

annals of online dating: 
I bet some other good shit came up for this particular search. Please share.

clicking in my ear:
Poor Googler, you were probably looking for some actual medical advice. Like from doctors. Luckily my blog can provide that. Answer - giant tweezers. Works every time.

crushed by my crush: 
I really feel for you on this one. This sucks every time, but you're strong, you'll find another. The best thing about crushes is that they live inside your head thereby making them lighthearted, fun and undeniably perfect. To get the full enjoyment of a crush never ever act on your feelings.

date boyfriend would love: 
Hmmm. If you don't know what kind of date your boyfriend would love you may have other problems and might want to Google something else like - "What to do when you don't know your boyfriend very well."

going on 5th date:
Congrats you made it this far! 5th dates, like unicorns and leprechauns, don't really exist in New York City.  You should be giving me dating advice. Call me.

how to reject first date:
Now this is something I can help you with. See here.

how to reject someone: 
Would you stop rejecting people? It isn't nice. See above.