59.1 November 2011: Daniel, It's Not Enough

How did you meet? online,OkCupid

Name: Daniel

Height: 5'11"

Age: 36

Occupation: video editor

Good quotes from date:

Me: "Come on I'll buy you some dessert."

Him: "I don't like sweets, and I'm lactose intolerant."

Him: "Did you ever have a nose ring?"

(While sitting very close to me on the train. I'm a secure person, but immediately thought "OMG, I must have a big pimple on my nose that makes him think I used to have a ring in that spot". Note to men: don't stare at a woman's nose and then ask something weird about it.)

Him: "Am I talking too much? I just want to tell you things about me."

Why is he still single? He comes on very strong. Too strong for me 

Did he pay for the date? Yes, drinks and dinner

Did he contact you after the date? No, I'm wondering if he understood my feelings

How many dates did you go on?

Would you recommend to a friend? yes


On the train out to the most delicious thai place in all the five bouroughs (according to him), we find out that the restaurant is closed on Wednesdays. Weird. He felt so bad and embarassed, but it was not a big deal at all. It was funny, and we made a plan B together to get Chinese food instead.

It was delicious and spicy and authentic, and his over-touching from the first date continued. The conversation flowed but almost too easily. We covered topics that most second dates shouldn't such as bisexuality. I felt so comfortable with him. I wasn't flirting, I didn't care how my hair looked, and at one point I had my knee up on my chair like we were old friends catching up. 

THIS is the problem. And this is the part that makes me sad. The sadness comes from the fact that I'm clearly not interested in Daniel romantically but I wish I were. It would be so easy. He likes me, he is kind and smart, and an adventurous foodie like me. Oh, if only. 

There is no sexual chemistry (on my end) and when he kissed me outside the restaurant this was confirmed. On the train home he held my hand and it was all too much or rather, it would have been perfect had he been enough. 

He wanted to get off at my train stop to walk me home and kiss some more  (I assumed). "That's very sweet, but you don't have to." I said. I go on many, many dates and these make me feel the worst. Because they are good dates with good people but without chemistry there is nowhere to go but home - alone.