69. April 2012: Jay, the Kiwi

How did you meet? Offline! At a concert, we started chatting at the bar. He asked for my number after the show. He texted that night.

Name: Jay

Height: 6'3"


Occupation: film editor (this might be the 57th film editor I've dated)

Good quotes from date:
Via text: "What was I thinking? I'll never let you walk home alone again."

Why is he still single?  Because of his age?

Did he contact you after the date? No. See comments.

How many dates did you go on? 1.5

Would you recommend to a friend?
No. I still have a crush on him.


Jay and I had a very promising start. We met in person, we chatted, we obliviously found each other attractive enough to want to see each other again. He was super cute and his New Zealand accent didn't hurt his sex appeal. 

The first time we hung out was a few days after the concert. He was at a bar with friends in my neighborhood so I stopped by. Not an official date, but we spent the whole night talking to each other and we shared a lovely late evening make out. He offered to walk me home, but it was out of his way so I objected. I woke up the next morning to the text above with butterflies in my stomach because I was smitten. He was a gentleman AND I felt attracted to him - A rare combination indeed.

Jay followed up immediately after that night and asked me out on a real date - to see a movie by a New Zealand director. Thoughtful, no? The movie was adorable and so was my date. He bought the tickets, the popcorn, the soda. We got drinks afterwards, I bought him one drink and he refused to allow me to buy anything else. He was very inquisitive about my life and experiences and seemed genuinely interested in my answers. 

We left the bar at 1am on a Thursday night and when I said I was taking a cab home he offered to share one and said he'd pay. (We don't live in the same neighborhoods in Brooklyn so this was not a cost effective choice). Again, I was flattered. 

In the cab my drunken self had to fight the strong desire to jump his bones. I wanted him to make the first move like he did last time. He did not. Even my drunken self had a hunch that this was not a good sign. A quick kiss on the lips as I exited the cab and a "See you soon." The kiss of death literally and figuratively.

Four days later I asked him to join me for a comedy show, which we talked about seeing on our date. NO RESPONSE. 

If I had a dollar for every boy that ignored my text messages this blog would be feature-length film and I'd be living off the royalties on a Caribbean island. Why is it so easy to ignore a text? Why is it so easy for my feelings to be hurt (albeit briefly) by a guy who ignores my text? I'll never know.

I'll also never know what happened with Jay...but my minimal analysis is this - our age difference. I don't know how old he was, I only knew he was younger because of his school and work history. I'm guessing it was about 8 years difference. Maybe that scared him off? Or maybe this is just an excuse I tell myself to feel better. 

However, I do know this - I'm proud of my age and my life experiences and I wouldn't change that for anything.