Even Birthday Cat Can't Believe I'm 34


Somehow according to basic math, being born in the year 1978 means I'm 34 today.

I've always been fascinated by horoscopes. I like to ask people their signs (in a non-creepy way, I think) and see if they adhere to the typical characteristics of that sign.  I'm Cancer the crab...and some traits of typical Cancers are so right on it hurts.

Although less so in my old age, I can be moody and definitely love my alone time. I'm good with money, I have a good memory, I'm fascinated by the occult, and I prefer a career that involves helping people. I also have a seriously weak digestive system, don't worry I'll spare you the details, but let's just say traveling with me in developing countries can be a real adventure.

However, most importantly - like a real crab with a hard outside shell, but a soft inside -  I'm emotional, caring, sensitive, kind, nurturing, but I keep these all hidden behind an air of indifference and aloofness (Hello. I have an anonymous blog). Truth.

Since I usually ask my dates when their birthdays are I've done a lot of thinking about which signs I'm more compatible with. My two most significant ex-boyfriends were a Taurus (my first love and currently my good friend) and a Sagittarius (the one who ran away, who I never speak to). Other men in my life who have seriously influenced me also fall into one of these two signs. Weird.

According to various very scientific astrology sites, Cancer is compatible with Taurus but NOT with Sagittarius. Huh.


This is a match that may get off to a slow start, but stays together for the long haul.  Both

lovers of the cozy cave; both crave stability; loyal and long-term minded; builders of material comforts; wealth-oriented -- creating abundance; sensuality meets emotional potency; family-oriented.


These two signs couldn't be more opposite. Sag craves adventure and will constantly be on the go, while Cancer prefers the quieter domesticated life. Cancer needs to feel emotionally secure. (Had I read this before my ex and I got together I may not have been that shocked when he ran out the door when we tried to make a plan to live together.)

There you have it! OkCupid should have everyone's actual birthday on their profiles so we can all save ourselves a little time and a lot of heartache.

Now I'm off to Connecticut to celebrate my birthday by eating some soft shell crabs, lobster rolls and ice cream. The Tums are packed.

Do you have any interesting dating experiences with certain signs? Or do you think it's all bullshit?