It's still summer and we still want to know what men are thinking. Robert Manni author of The Guys' Guy's Guide to Love shares some of his thoughts about how to find love. Read below, read his book, and enter his Kindle Giveaway. Because who doesn't want free advice and a free Kindle?
If You Want Love, Think Like An Advertiser
Ever wonder why they air those McDonald's commercials right around lunchtime? You know that it’s because that’s when your tummy is growling for something to satiate it. Same thing happens with beer and Doritos ads during the timeouts of football games. Your nervous energy is craving savory foods to chomp and a cold beverage to wash them down. It’s called targeted advertising and it works. And guess what? You can use the same time proven techniques to find love, without selling out. Just be true to your own personal brand. Here is how it can work for you:
Know Your Market- That means you need to know whom you want to go after and what these potential partners are looking for in a mate. So if you’re looking for a man, you’ve got to consider what guys want in a relationship. It helps if you focus first on them and less on yourself…at least for this step. Most men I know seek the same core qualities in a female partner- trust, a sense of humor, someone they enjoy hanging out with, someone who has similar interests and values, and hot sex. Hey, sounds like guys are interested in the same things that women are interested in from a partner! Then you need to know where they can be found. Ladies, I am sure you know where the guys hang out in the city. Bars, gyms, classes, work, clubs, the park, ball games, etc. If you cannot find men in the city, invest in a new pair of designer glasses.
Notice I did not say anything about looks. You’ll need to do the very best you can in that area and hope that nature sends the right signals to the guys that strike your fancy. That’s part of chemistry, and as you know, chemistry can be random. Don’t worry about what you cannot control.
Know Your Brand- That’s you, dear. Every so often it helps to take a step back and re-examine who we are, what we are and how we roll. Many of us make the same mistakes when it comes to relationships over and over. It could be our attitude towards the opposite sex, how we present ourselves, or even that mental checklist for sizing up potential partners that can include everything from his bank account to his shoes. Yeah, that list. When it gets longer than one page, it’s too long. Once you know who you are and what you want, consider what qualities you can offer a potential partner that is totally you - your special sauce, if you will. Yes, like on a Big Mac. If you cannot come up with three good reasons why you are special and a great catch, then is it fair to expect some guy to figure that out on his own from the get go?
Get Out There And Close The Deal- So once you know your market and where they live (fish where the fish are) and know whom you are and that you are fantastic and probably the best thing that will ever happen to a guy, then you need to get up and get out. You’re not going to meet guys if you stay home, traipse around the city with your ear buds permanently plugged in, and only hanging out with your girlfriends. You need to be perceived as approachable in a fun way and available in a non-slutty way. That means just be you and love your life. A few laps around the online dating track can work wonders if you have some common sense and confidence. Same goes for taking a class, running or sunning in the park or sitting at an outdoor table where a glimpse of your shapely legs can attract waves of guys who are interested in someone just like you. And, always remind yourself to have fun and keep an open mind. Love shows up when you least expect it, but it helps if you are dressed for the part and wearing a smile.
BONUS TOPIC- As part of this guest post I was asked to address “what women need to know that men will never tell them”. That’s a great question and a loaded one also. In this Guys’ Guy’s opinion, as stated above, whether they will admit it or not, guys are seeking the same qualities in women as you are in guys. The other “secret” they carry is that most men are real horn dogs. It’s part of our DNA and it needs minding. What could differentiate one guy from another is how he manages his “inner horn dog”. It’s the elephant in the room, and he needs to take charge of it. Easier said than done. Happy hunting, ladies!
What do you think about Robert's advice? Do you know your brand?
Are you surprised to find out that men are horn dogs? (I don't really expect anyone to answer this).