Q & A: There is Nothing Wrong with You

I am an almost 35-year-old Argentine woman and, all of a sudden, all my friends are married with children or at least pregnant. I can't stop thinking what's wrong with me. While most of my friends were "livin' la vida loca" I was committed in a serious relationship which, I thought, would make me mother when I turned 30. Nothing of these happened. That long relationship ended when I turned 29 (when I realized he would never marry me or anyone else). Since then, I have been through a short (one year) relationship and nothing else. Please, give a piece of advice. 


THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. I will say this again: There is nothing wrong with you. 

Last weekend I met up with my wonderful friends who visited from Berlin. The bar was filled with people who love them - all of whom are married, most of whom have children. My friends have one child and she is pregnant with their second baby. I couldn't be happier for them. 

I chatted with my friends and their friends about jobs and kids. I was the only single person in the room. And I was happy. Happy to see them, happy to see some of their friends, and very happy to meet up with my single friends afterwards. 

I too am almost 35. It is a strange number to say because its sounds like an age where I should be an adult, and when I was much younger I thought that I would definitely be married and a mother by age 35. I am not. 

When I was younger, I thought being an adult meant not playing wth your friends anymore, raising kids, having a job that was just ok, owning a house and some cars, and maybe a dog. 

When I was younger, I didn't know about all the other things that I could be. I wasn't aware of the other things in life that could fulfill me. I didn't know that I could take another path, one different from some of my friends and family and still be incredibly happy. 

I didn't know I could still play with my old friends, make new friends, have a career I love, and live in a city where anything is possible everyday. I didn't know I could start new hobbies like snowboarding, improv, or writing this blog. 

I was 31 when I broke up with my ex who I thought I was going to marry. If we had gotten married I'd have a kid by now. I also think we'd be divorced by 40 knowing now what I didn't know then. 

I am on a different path now and it is wonderful. You are on a different path than your friends, a different one than your 29-yr-old self foresaw. But it is still wonderful. You are living your life. Embrace now. Make now the best fuckin' now that your younger self never imagined. 

You deserve to give that to yourself.