82. March 2013: How to Turn a Good Date into a Bad One

How did you meet? Online

Name: James

Height: 6'2"

Age: 37

Occupation:  producer/screenplay writer/ probable misogynist 

Good quotes from date(s):

Him: Ugh, I can't believe you like those TV shows. They are so contrived."

Me: Isn't everything on TV contrived? What shows are you into?

Him: Breaking Bad and Mad Men are great. 

Me (in my head): You couldn't be more hipster-cliche. I feel like I'm in an episode of Portlandia

Why is he still single? Comments will explain

Did he pay for the date?  We split it

Did he contact you after the date? No, he learned

How many dates did you go on? 1

Would you recommend to a friend? No way


 In all my 81 dates I've NEVER had one that went from interesting to horrible so quickly like this one. It was going well until he said the following:

1. The hot girls he's dated from OkC

2. The hot girls he's slept with from OkC

3. The anorexic and chubby girls to he's met from OkC

4. Anorexic doesn't do it for him because he likes an ass he can grab

I could go on but you get the idea. He's really an open-minded guy - he tried to explain - because even though the women were super-hot (like in the 2% category of hot - a direct quote) they were boring. And he needs more substance. 

Maybe that's where I come in?

Towards the end of my second drink he went off on this diatribe about women's weight and how that relates to their ass size and I shut down. I have no desire to argue with someone so "open-minded". When he finally stopped talking, he stared at me and I felt uncomfortable. He asked what I was thinking and I said "Nothing". 

He decided to project his insecurities on me and tell me what I was actually thinking about him. I told him he was being aggressive and I didn't like it. I got up to leave and he followed. On the walk down the street he seemed to be remorseful about his douchy behavior, because he tried to make banal conversation about the weather and the neighborhood. 

I nodded my head and let him apologetically hug me before we parted ways. He knew he sabotaged the date and I only hoped that on his way he home he tried to figure out why. I assumed it was not the first time he turned a good date into a complete disaster. 

On my way home I felt sadness and disappointment, feelings I don't usually have about dating. But I felt tired and wanted to cry a little, not just for myself but for all of us. For all of us who get dressed up and put on makeup and have hope every time. 

Because we can bullshit each other and say we have no expectations about these dates, but one thing I always have is hope. Hope that this is my last stupid online date...for forever or even just for the next 6 months. I took my sadness and plunged it into eating some delicious chicken fingers afterwards, because my expectations of chicken fingers are always, always fulfilled. 

UPDATE: A few months later, here's what happened when I saw him again...