On the drive up from NY to VT
My former roommate and bestie just moved up to Burlington, Vermont to attend organic farm school (a six month program). A life change that she couldn't be happier about and I therefore couldn't be happier for her.
I miss her, of course, but I get to learn about what dating life is like on the other side - outside the big apple.
Apparently it's somewhat normal.
She's only been there for two weeks and she's received a few messages from some possible suitors. One of which is below...
I have taken a liking to your profile. My biggest question for you though is, are you attending this farming program on a temporal basis? I couldn't figure out if you were just going to be in the area for the summer and then move back to NYC. I am interested in a serious relationship and it would nice to meet someone planning to stick around this area.
- Manly man in Vermont
If this guy lived in Brooklyn....
I have taken a liking to your profile. My biggest question for you though is, are you living in the city on a temporal basis? I couldn't figure out if you are just visiting or actually planning on making NYC your home. I am interested in an extremely causal relationship sexual in nature, preferably after the hours of midnight and before sunrise. I'm not interested in going on actual dates in public and getting to know you at all.
In fact, it'd really be best if you were just here on vacation for a few weeks, because I wouldn't have worry about you liking me too much, wanting an actual long-term relationship that might include mutual respect and trust, and god forbid lead to love (or worse - marriage).
This is because I don't know what love is and when i think about it, it scares the hell out of me. What if I develop real human feelings, and have to - OMG - talk to you about them, thereby putting myself in a very vulnerable position to get my heart broken like that time in the 8th grade when Betsy McCoullough chose Billy over me.
I know I'm 35 but I'm also still dealing with the love that my father didn't provide me, and the too much attention that my mother gave me to compensate. Can I get your digits?
- Man-Baby in Brooklyn
Anyone else interested in moving to Burlington, VT?