Need a Cheap Summer Vacation? Try Tinder-Town

It's summer. The weather has finally dropped blow 925 degrees. 

My skin is tan and I've been drinking and eating too much.

 I joined an overpriced but motivating spin gym before my vacation in the hopes to not look like a bloated whale. Because I plan to be a bloated whale when I return after drinking wine and eating fromage in France. 

Every minute during the work day feels like 12 minutes, making every day feel like my own tiny hell. By 11:30am, I'm down to inbox zero. 

This leaves a lot of time to daydream and to Tinder. 

You're welcome...


Some guys want to show how nerdy-cool they are....

Sure I'm obsessed with Game of Thrones. Who isn't? 

But just as I don't pretend to be the Mother of Dragons, you shouldn't pretend to be the King of Westeros. It will not get you laid. 

Some "guys" don't want to show their faces to keep the mystery alive...

Yes. Tigers. Again. Cute.

I don't know whether to feel sorry for this monkey or give him a high-five.

Some guys want to show you they are multi-faceted...

God, NO.

Dear Lord Baby Jesus, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. 

Not a dude. 

And some guys want you to see their command of Photoshop...

I nearly peed my pants. 

I kind of love this guy.