93. October 2013: Evan - When a Date is Not a Date

How did you meet? Tinder

Name: Evan

Height: (much) shorter than me

Age: In 30s (can't remember)

Occupation:  photographer

Good quotes from date(s)

I'm dating someone else who lives on your street.

I don't like to call these 'dates'.

Why is he still single? Divorced, enjoying being back in the dating pool

Did he pay for the date? yes

Did he contact you after the date? A quick text to tell me he's taking a Tinder break, and if I want to keep in touch to email him

How many dates did you go on? Were we even on date?

Would you recommend to a friend? Doubtful


One of Tinder's many benefits is the quick and easy "right-now" date. Evan and I matched on a Monday during the day and met up that same night. My new date strategy had been to tell the guy about this blog (except for 91). This might be because I'm almost done with the project and I have desire for openness. Anyway, I told Evan. 

So it was my fault that our date got completely meta right away. He was super interested in 100fd. Too interested. As a result, much of the night's conversation centered around this blog, my dates, was he just a test subject, what would I write about him, yadda yadda. I got bored immediately and wished I were on a date where we didn't talk about dating.

But I soon learned that I wasn't on a date because Evan did not consider it one. Dates mean romance, he said, and since there was none of that on online dates he considered them "meet-ups". 

Well, jeez, with an attitude like that...

To be honest, the minute I saw Evan I knew I was not attracted to him, and so he was right that our particular date/meet-up was not romantic, but I challenge his overall assumption. 

Online dating platforms are only tools to facilitate people meeting face-to-face. When I put on make-up and a cute outfit and leave my very comfortable couch on a chilly Monday night to go on a date, it's because dates still have the potential for magic. And magic leads to romance, which leads to relationships and love. 

"Meet-ups" are for people who are afraid that a random night with a stranger brought about by a silly smartphone app could lead to something real. 

I much prefer dates.