2014 - Year of the Horse & My Celibacy

2014 according to the Chinese horoscope is the year of the horse. I'm a horse so naturally I assumed this is my year. And yet...


Only two months in I'm beginning to believe otherwise. Love continues to elude me in new and surprising ways.

After date 97 dicked out on me (yep, I just verbed 'dick') for our third date, I dried my tears and my best friend and I hit the Brooklyn town with dinner and drinks. We ended up at a lovely out-of-the-way bar that was neither hipstery nor annoying so we stayed for hours. We struck up a conversation with four guys who looked age appropriate, had some laughs, had some shots, and stayed out until 4am.

One of the guys, Dan, took an interest in me. I wasn't that into him at first, until I noticed his wicked sense of humor and just like that I was hooked. He was beardy and Brooklyny in a red plaid flannel. I told him he looked like he should be chopping wood. Funny I should say that. I make furniture, he said. Yes, I was hooked.

He flirted, I flirted. We both flirted like no one else was around. We closed down the bar. I felt chemistry that wasn’t caused by the whiskey. We hugged awkwardly goodbye. I wanted more of him.

The next morning he texted. Yes! The next, next morning he said the only reason he didn’t ask me out was because he has a girlfriend. No!


A week later, I flirted with someone new from work. He flirted back. Two weeks later he told me he was taking it to the next level with the girl he was seeing. She was going to be his girlfriend.

Ok universe, I'm tired. And also lonely. Not only because it’s cold outside but because I am completely ready to be with someone. For the long-term. I'm sad that I haven’t connected with anyone deeply in over four years. Logically I know there isn’t anything wrong with me, but sometimes feelings aren't logical. 

After some reading I've discovered that a horse in a horse year should be careful because the balance of our yin and yang is off. We should take this time to reflect. So that is what I'm doing.

I've decided that I'm not sleeping with anyone who isn't my boyfriend. I'm going to wait for someone amazing who wants what I want. Who wants to call ME his girlfriend.

Even Birthday Cat Can't Believe I'm 34


Somehow according to basic math, being born in the year 1978 means I'm 34 today.

I've always been fascinated by horoscopes. I like to ask people their signs (in a non-creepy way, I think) and see if they adhere to the typical characteristics of that sign.  I'm Cancer the crab...and some traits of typical Cancers are so right on it hurts.

Although less so in my old age, I can be moody and definitely love my alone time. I'm good with money, I have a good memory, I'm fascinated by the occult, and I prefer a career that involves helping people. I also have a seriously weak digestive system, don't worry I'll spare you the details, but let's just say traveling with me in developing countries can be a real adventure.

However, most importantly - like a real crab with a hard outside shell, but a soft inside -  I'm emotional, caring, sensitive, kind, nurturing, but I keep these all hidden behind an air of indifference and aloofness (Hello. I have an anonymous blog). Truth.

Since I usually ask my dates when their birthdays are I've done a lot of thinking about which signs I'm more compatible with. My two most significant ex-boyfriends were a Taurus (my first love and currently my good friend) and a Sagittarius (the one who ran away, who I never speak to). Other men in my life who have seriously influenced me also fall into one of these two signs. Weird.

According to various very scientific astrology sites, Cancer is compatible with Taurus but NOT with Sagittarius. Huh.


This is a match that may get off to a slow start, but stays together for the long haul.  Both

lovers of the cozy cave; both crave stability; loyal and long-term minded; builders of material comforts; wealth-oriented -- creating abundance; sensuality meets emotional potency; family-oriented.


These two signs couldn't be more opposite. Sag craves adventure and will constantly be on the go, while Cancer prefers the quieter domesticated life. Cancer needs to feel emotionally secure. (Had I read this before my ex and I got together I may not have been that shocked when he ran out the door when we tried to make a plan to live together.)

There you have it! OkCupid should have everyone's actual birthday on their profiles so we can all save ourselves a little time and a lot of heartache.

Now I'm off to Connecticut to celebrate my birthday by eating some soft shell crabs, lobster rolls and ice cream. The Tums are packed.

Do you have any interesting dating experiences with certain signs? Or do you think it's all bullshit?