The Summer of "What Are Men Really Thinking?"

Post horrible break-up in the fall of 2009 I spent far too much money on relationship books. (I even read Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man" - god help me). I watched movies and matchmaker shows hoping to understand what my ex was thinking and feeling. As a logical person I tried to find a sensible explanation as to why he walked out on me (literally and figuratively) without warning.

These tools didn't really help me understand anything except that the keys to getting through a horrible break-up is therapy, supportive friends and family, and anti-depressants.

Oh yeah, and time. Time, which sometimes cannot pass fast enough.

Three years later and almost three quarters through this 100 first dates project, while I've learned more than I could imagine about myself, I still don't understand what men think about dating and relationships. But I shall try.

Forget the books, the movies, the matchmakers, and what your girlfriends tell you. This summer I'm taking a trip into the minds of men and you're coming with me. 

I'm lucky enough to have a few good men in my life (some old friends and some new) who are willing to talk honestly and openly about dating, relationships and love. 

In the next few months I will interview:  

  • A Single Guy
  • A Guy in a Relationship
  • A Married Guy
  • A Divorced Guy

I hope that my interviews inspire dialogues on this blog and in your lives. I hope that you'll talk to the men in your life - boyfriend, father, brother, cousin, friend, husband, coworker - about what they think and that you share it with others. 

I'm open to guest posts from you or from the guys themselves! So get talking with the menfolk...

Make a Plan. Call it a Date.

My girlfriends and I sit around and talk a lot about how we love it when men plan the first few dates; when they take the initiative; when they make decisions in the early stages of dating. We like it, we want it and yes! we are still feminists. We like it because it makes us feel like the man is really, truly interested in us. We feel special and if we feel special we will eventually put out. 

I know some men who won't even call an evening out with a woman they are attracted to a "date". We're just "hanging out" they'll say. To that I say, "Really? Do you want a woman or a girl?"

Because a woman won't consider having sex with you after an amazing evening of "hanging out" where you split the check and was too lazy to walk her out of your way to her car or train. It's so, so simple.This article pretty much nails what we want and was written by a man so I don't really need to say more.

Speaking of a man with a gay husband is visiting this weekend and already has a sex date planned for Saturday afternoon at 1pm. Let's break this down:

1. It's Monday
2. Plan is for Saturday (with a time established)
3. Date is for sex only 
4. Being gay seems really easy and totally awesome

To all the men out there straight and gay: Make a plan. Call it a date. Get laid (eventually).