OkCupid: The Difference Between Brooklyn and Burlington

On the drive up from NY to VT

My former roommate and bestie just moved up to Burlington, Vermont to attend organic farm school (a six month program). A life change that she couldn't be happier about and I therefore couldn't be happier for her. 

I miss her, of course, but I get to learn about what dating life is like on the other side - outside the big apple. 

Apparently it's somewhat normal. She's only been there for two weeks and she's received a few messages from some possible suitors. One of which is below...

I have taken a liking to your profile. My biggest question for you though is, are you attending this farming program on a temporal basis? I couldn't figure out if you were just going to be in the area for the summer and then move back to NYC. I am interested in a serious relationship and it would nice to meet someone planning to stick around this area. 

- Manly man in Vermont

*********************************

If this guy lived in Brooklyn....

I have taken a liking to your profile. My biggest question for you though is, are you living in the city on a temporal basis? I couldn't figure out if you are just visiting or actually planning on making NYC your home. I am interested in an extremely causal relationship sexual in nature, preferably after the hours of midnight and before sunrise. I'm not interested in going on actual dates in public and getting to know you at all.  

In fact, it'd really be best if you were just here on vacation for a few weeks, because I wouldn't have worry about you liking me too much, wanting an actual long-term relationship that might include mutual respect and trust, and god forbid lead to love (or worse - marriage). 

This is because I don't know what love is and when i think about it, it scares the hell out of me. What if I develop real human feelings, and have to - OMG - talk to you about them, thereby putting myself in a very vulnerable position to get my heart broken like that time in the 8th grade when Betsy McCoullough chose Billy over me. 

I know I'm 35 but I'm also still dealing with the love that my father didn't provide me, and the too much attention that my mother gave me to compensate. Can I get your digits?

- Man-Baby in Brooklyn 

Anyone else interested in moving to Burlington, VT?

84. May 2013: Pete - A Messy Date

How did you meet? Online

Name: Pete

Height: 6'2"

Age: 32

Occupation:  graphic designer

Good quotes from date(s):

Me: "We should probably get some napkins."

See comments...

Why is he still single? I don't know

Did he pay for the date?  I bought a round, he bought a round, then he bought dinner

Did he contact you after the date? I texted him, he responded

How many dates did you go on? 1

Would you recommend to a friend? Sure

Comments:

Like date 83, this was also a good date, but not extremely memorable. Pete was a chill, quiet, occasionally funny guy. Conversation (and beer) flowed easily. 

At the bar he accidentally knocked over his entire pint. We watched it flow down the bar like a raging river,  while the couple next to us quickly rescued their drinks and elbows from drowning. 

I'm sure he was embarrassed so I tried to play it down and not laugh...in the hopes that he'd be a man who took charge and would clean it up. 

Nope. After a long 5 seconds of staring I said we should probably get some napkins and walked over to the bar to grab some. He followed suit. 

Afterwards we headed down the block to a restaurant to get some tacos, and parted ways on the L train. Overall a nice date with a nice guy who I could probably be friends with, but not really date.  

Because men make mistakes; men spill; but real men clean up their messes.

83. April 2013: Jackson - A Date with a Manly Man

How did you meet? Online

Name: Jackson

Height: 5'8"

Age: 31

Occupation:  Grad student/ bartender 

Good quotes from date(s):

Him: "I'm an INTJ*."
Me: "I'm an ENFP. I'm supposed to date INTJs"

Why is he still single? Probably too busy

Did he pay for the date?  I ended up paying more. Not sure how that happened.

Did he contact you after the date? No

How many dates did you go on? 1

Would you recommend to a friend? Sure

Comments:

The more dates I go on, the more I realize I want a manly man. I want this manly man to a tad alpha male but not in a douchey way. I want him to respect women, open a door for me, and beat someone up if absolutely necessary to defend my honor. Sure, I'm a feminist, and I can still want those things. 

Jackson was this kind of guy. He had muscles, and was from Seattle so had this endearing down-to-earth, no bullshit kind of personality that is hard to come by on the east coast. We had one drink at a bar, and when the bartender asked if we wanted another drink, he said "No thanks, we're going somewhere else." Just like that - he decided! He asked me afterwards if it was ok, which of course it was. Please, manly man, make a decision so I don't have to. If was like a dream coming true...

While sitting at the next bar, some guys sidled up next to me to order a drink and got a little too close. Jackson looked at the guys, looked at me and said, "You ok over there?" And before I could answer he grabbed my stool (with me on it) and pulled it closer to him. Hell frickin yes! I'm OK now!

This was a great date, with a great guy who I assume isn't interested in me since I haven't heard from him, but you know what? It is very comforting to know that manly men still exist in this world, today, in my city. 

*If you haven't taken a quick Myer's Briggs personality test, I highly recommend it. Mine is spot on.